Missing him so much

Today we visited my husband, the boys and I. It was so lovely. Such a surreal environment but just so lovely to be together the 4 of us. It makes the judgement and the trauma of all we been through these last 18 months kind of pain into insignificance when we are all together.
Nobody has or ever will make me feel how my husband does. He looks at me the upmost love and respect. I know that’s so hard for some to believe after everything we’ve been and are going through but I know in my heart of hearts he never meant to hurt me and the boys.
We spent around 2 hours together all 4 of us as we should be… Then the boys and I left and we went shopping for some Christmas clothes for the boys. Then we went to maccies before heading home. We are doing OK. We get through each day. But there is a massive hole in our life where he should be. I know many women who’s husbands never went to prison for their online offences equal to if not worse than my husbands. There really is no rhyme or reason in the criminal justice system. It feels like a lottery as to who gets a custodial and who doesn’t. Those sentencing guidelines can be interpreted however the judge sees fit.
So now we are home and the tears are flowing. It’s Saturday night. The  night when most couples are together. Well I sit with a glass of wine watching TV with our 10 year old son whilst my husband will be watching TV with his cell mate.
I know people have to pay for their crimes but we, the families are the hidden victims. He is my Husband and the boys Father. He is needed here with us where he belongs.
The grief of missing someone you love just hurts so much.