A better week 🙏

It’s Friday evening. I’m sitting here watching TV with my 10 year old. My eldest has just came back form a 5 a side match.

I feel some degree of happiness and contentment. Dare I say?!

Tomorrow we have a visit with Hubby. We haven’t saw him since 8th January due to visits being reduced to 2 a month again. I cannot wait to hug him.

To say being a Non-offending partner and having a husband in Prison is an emotional roller-coaster is an understatement.

Last week was one of the worst of my life. Every day felt like climbing Mount everest just to get through the day. I was a bundle of emotions, hormones, physical and mental exhaustion. Despite this I had to carry on, taking the kids to school, cooking, cleaning, shopping and working. Because as a temporary single parent, it’s all down to me right now.

This week I’ve still not got my energy fully back as we’ve all had some sort of cold. However I feel mentally a world apart to where I was last week.

I often feel when my emotions overwhelm me and they calm, it’s like a thunder storm crashing through the sky and afterwards there’s a sense of calm. The air is cleared. I’ve no doubt I will level off next week.

For now I feel fairly positive. This week I feel has been a positive week.

I am off Mondays and Tuesdays. I started Monday with an Indian head massage.

Then I bought my lovely new shiny bike which was a bargain and came with a very emotional story of a guy selling as his wife didn’t use it and has recently passed away. This story hit me hard to be honest. When I asked why she didn’t want it and he told me because she passed away… It hit me like a train… That could be us. I could have lost my husband. As difficult as this time in our life is, it will pass. There is light and there is life at the end of that dark tunnel.

My husband seems to be in a better place this week too. His cell mate was released and he finally got moved to a single cell. He is able to sleep without someone snoring and is able to talk more freely when he calls. This seems to have boasted his mental health. This affects my mood too as I do worry about him.

I’ve had a few really busy but productive days in work too. I’m a Tenancy Support worker. I support vulnerable people and families to prevent eviction. I have supported a vulnerable young girl with her pending eviction through multi agency working, applications and appeals. We were informed yesterday her arrears are going to be paid off and she will not be made homeless. She gave me such amazing written feedback it almost made me cry.

Since my husband went to prison, I have thought about whether I should go and get an Admin job or something else simple and unrelated.

Although I am going through so much myself right now, I cannot describe how rewarding it is to help others get what they are entitled to. To be able to make a difference in other people’s lives is both a pleasure and a privilege.

So it’s fair to say I feel a great deal of appreciation for what I have this week. My glass is half full. Last week it didn’t feel half empty it felt completely drained.

I have worked with people with mental health issues for many many years. I often hear myself tell clients to make the most of their good days and on their bad days to just look after themselves and not put pressure on themselves. I think I’m starting to take my own advice. Last week I done anything and everything I could to self care. The result is that my batteries have recharged a little and I am able to face the world again.