I cruelly lost my Mum in 2018 after her long and agonising battle with Dementia.
Yesterday was bittersweet for me; missing my own mum, missing my husband in prison yet being with my own sons.
I decided I would make yesterday about me. I had a lovely day out to the seaside with the boys.
They bought me lovely gifts, including the latest book by an Author I am getting into.
We went bowling and I won! My eldest, Mr competitive didn’t even rage when I did. Maybe he ‘let me’ win as a mother’s Day treat?!
The we had ice creams walking along the pier, fun in the arcades and a go on the pirate ship, my favourite. Then home for a takeaway.
A lovely day all in all despite the obvious losses. I decided that mother’s Day is about being with your children and I was. I felt tremendous gratitude.
Today I bought some nice purple tulips and took them to Mums grave.
When I got there I discovered that nobody has been near since I last went in January when I placed flowers for their anniversaries.
This really cut me up. I found myself weeping at the grave and apologising for the selfishness of my sisters.
Apparently one of them has a plant to put on, according to my Brother in law, the only one I’m in touch with. Admittedly yes, she does usually make the effort.
As for the other 3, Nans themselves now, all in their 50s, they are a disgrace.
I am the ostracised one.
I do not profess to be a saint or a martyr. Yet it comes so naturally to me to WANT to do these things.
I am the one who has been shunned from the family for standing by my husband.
Right now. I’m not sure I’ve actually lost anything?!
After the knock 