“This too shall pass”

When my husband received a 16 month custodial sentence on 10th August 2021, it felt like such a long road ahead.

“This too shall pass” is what kind people told me. It didn’t feel like it.

The aftermath of the knock has been the most traumatic of experiences. Prison adding another level of trauma. My husband and the children’s Dad being removed from our lives. It’s been an equal punishment for us as it’s been for him.

My blogging has helped me to process the highs and the lows of the last 16 months. Additional to hours upon hours of counselling and chatting to my fellow prisoners wives.

On Tuesday, I had a reflective counselling sessions with my therapist. I’ve saw her almost every week for the past 6 months so she knows me well. I’m not exactly a closed book. I do half of their job for them by being so open. As a support worker I always tell clients how much easier it makes my job by them being so open.

Having traits of ADHD (self diagnosed), I feel things very deeply. I am also an empath which means I not only feel my own emotions, but those of the closest to me. My youngest son has almost an identical personality type to me. I tell him that we have huge hearts but huge hearts can be hurt easily so we have to look after ourselves.

The marked change in me from my therapists observation, is that I have learnt that I can do this alone. I have learnt how to be a single parent, looking after the kids, the pets, the house, whilst working etc. Yet I don’t want to be. This isn’t my life. This isn’t the life I want or the life I signed up for. Yet I am incredibly proud of myself. Always feeling such an underdog in my life, I have finally realised that I’m pretty awesome actually.

That long road ahead is now almost behind us. With my Husbands release less than 24 hours away, I am starting to feel a weight lifting off my shoulders. I have bared the weight of his sentence too. Now it’s finally coming to an end. Whilst there is still anxiety at what lies ahead, I know that I will no longer be sailing this ship alone.

The wise ones were right, no matter how difficult life gets, it passes. Time moves on. Then we can look behind us and be proud of the road we have travelled.