I hate injustice of any kind.
My boys call me a ‘Karen’ always standing up for people’s rights. (Apologies to any lovely Karen’s out there for the stereotype). I am actually happy to be one.
What’s the alternative?
Being a pushover?
Being a people pleaser? I guess I’ve been guilty of that in the past. However, going through my own trauma has enabled me to become my authentic self.
This morning I woke after a dream. My eldest sister and niece. Nothing exciting. Some sort of party, vague recall of a wedding perhaps.
I woke and the stark reality hit me. Again.
They are no longer part of my life. They haven’t been for almost 3 years.
They never will be again.
Then I reach for my phone and turn my WiFi on.
A message off one of the other ladies. Heartbroken and incredibly sad. Still facing the aftermath of her husbands offending, 2.5 years post arrest.
As I lie there alone, my husband asleep a mile away at his parents house, I feel myself getting upset. For me. For my friend. For all of the amazing, incredibly strong women going through this. Some of whom are my friends, some more my family.
I have always been empathic. I am naturally able to put myself in other peoples shoes and understand the world from their perspective. This enables me to be a good support worker. I don’t judge. I understand.
However, the empathy I feel for these other ladies, is on another level. For I don’t only understand how they may feel, I feel their emotions. I feel like I soak them up like a sponge.
This group of ladies, up and down the UK, are the most amazing ladies I have ever met. They are kind, respectful, compassionate and incredibly strong.
They each inspire me to keep going. When the odds are stacked against us. When our husbands offending has smashed our lives to pieces, they keep on going… Spinning plates, playing whackamole, knocking down those challenges as they come up.
Yet there is so much pain, so much heartache. It’s hard to bare at times.
We choose to stand by our husbands, these guys who committed their crimes, we know they are not the monsters society wants to believe they are.
Yet loving them and maintaining our family feels like loving them ‘against all odds’.
The punishment we face is immense.
The scrutiny from police, social care, the abandonment from friends and family. It goes on and on. Those of us who have had media reporting, we live in the fear that this is just one click away from resurfacing and another bomb dropping on our lives.
We, as a community, have become incredibly strong and resilient. We make lemonade from the lemons, we appreciate the small things others take for granted.
Yet, I just cannot help but feel that life for us, is completely unfair.
We have found love, understanding and forgiveness for our partners on another level. We deserve to be rewarded for that. Not punished.
After the knock 