Prison Visits to suit ‘their agenda’

Today’s visit to Hubby was just me. We had planned for my youngest to come too. We both had a bath and got stuff ready last night, including getting to bed reasonably early.

The visit was 8.45am. We live around a half hour drive and you’re supposed to arrive a little before so we had to set off around 8am.

Around 7.30am I went in to my little boys room. The sun was only just beginning to rise so it was still fairly dark. He was snuggled up in his bed under a mountain of blankets. I tried to wake him and he said he was, ‘so tired.’ I reminded him we were going to see his Dad. He got upset as I could tell he was so very torn… He wanted to see his Dad but also he is completely full of cold and he just needed a little sleep in at the weekend. So we agreed I would give his Dad a’ big hug and kiss’ from him and he would stay at home with his big Brother.

Hubby completely understood of course. He has a great deal of grattitude. He feels very blessed to be able to see us weekly / fortnightly when some don’t see their kids at all. Other women I know visits are still only monthly following covid and sometimes all booked up so their kids go two months without seeing their Father.

It makes me sad that families are thought about so little in the Prison system. These super early weekend visits are completely unmanageable.

For families like us; women are single parents right now,  looking after the kids, the house, doing the school run and working. It’s not too much to expect to be able to have a lie in of a weekend after 5 early get ups.

The weekday visits are during school hours. With a teenager studying for his GCSEs it’s not ideal to be taking him out half days to visit his Dad.

I understand that prison is a form of  punishment. However I feel that the whole system is to ‘suit’ their timescales not ours.

Where is the consideration for families like us? Fortunately I drive but many people don’t and may have hours to travel to get there. I know women who have to drive three or more hours each way to visit their Husbands.

They can often be moved at the drop of a hat, even further away from their family.

I also think the criminal justice system under estimated the positive impact of family support and interaction. I can see a major difference in my Husband since visits become weekly. His cellmate in comparison has no visits and outside contact and sleeps most days and barely eats he is so depressed.

So if you’re a decision maker in this field and you’re reading this, please I urge you to put yourself in families shoes when planning your visiting timetables. Please value the support from us in helping to get our loved one through their sentence.

We are the Indirect victims of offences and we serve our own sentence on the outside.