What would you do?

If your sister, daughter, auntie, cousin, friend or colleague told you that their Husband was seriously ill, or had died, what would you say?

What would you do if something so earth shattering happened in theirs and their children’s lives and they didn’t see it coming. They had no idea.

Would you offer them your love and support?

Would you take around a lasagne to save them cooking?

Would you offer to babysit their children whilst they slept?

Would you hug them tight and tell them that you are there for them?

Would you tell them that ‘they will get through this?’

Or would you walk away from them?

Worse still, would you blame them?

Would you abandon them and their children for something they didn’t know. Something they didn’t cause?

When your Husband / Partner is arrested for a Sexual Offence, it’s as much of a shock as if you had been told that they had cancer or had died through a sudden and tragic accident.

The pain and destruction caused by our partners offence is indescribable. Life as we knew it ended the day of the knock.

If they receive a custodial, it’s a whole new level of trauma as we attempt to navigate our way though, single parenting our children and holding down a job. Attempting to keep a roof over our head on one wage with little to no childcare support.

Today I have had TOO MANY conversations with my lovely fellow prisoners wives. Judgement and abandonment by their nearest and dearest, those who were supposed to care, supposed to love them.

Not only have many of our family and friends NOT supported us, they’ve actually made things worse. Walked away from us and our children during the biggest trauma of our lives.

The judgement and hideous comments we’ve endured through no fault of our own has been equal the the shock and trauma of the discovery of the offence itself.

What has happened to humanity?!

Our husbands offences are NOT justification for how we have been treated.