Social care anxiety

My husband is in now in Cat D. He has less than 5 months to go to release and is currently being assessed for Release on Temporary License.

I know that inevitably we will have the intrusion of social care one again, any time now.

I feel sick from head to toe at the thought. I feel waves of panic through my body, a tightness in my chest and my stomach churns.

At the weekend, my eldest son turned 16, hence I have been a Mum for 16 years now.

My son is thriving. He has sat all of his GCSEs over the past couple of months. He has a strong network of friends and he plays football and goes out with his friends regularly. Next week he is going away on a Residential week with NCS.

My youngest has finished for the summer now. He is also thriving. His end of year 5 report was glowing.

I am a good Mum.

I am raising my kids single handedly whilst my Husband is in prison.

Due to his online offending, I know that we are once again going to face that wrath of their judgement.

I have done all the Safeguarding and protective parenting courses I possibly could since he was arrested. The latest being a very difficult and triggering course.

My husband has also done so much work already since the arrest.

I have a very robust safety plan.

My husband is an online offender. He never hurt our children. He never would. Yet I know that some Social Worker is going to come into our lives on their moral high horse judging my parenting.

As I write this I realise this doesn’t just make me anxious. This makes me extremely Angry!!! How dare they.

I should be praised for holding it all together whilst going through the biggest of traumas.

We have every right to be a family together again.

It’s the uncertainty that’s the hardest too. Each individual social worker is subjective. They have their own stance and their own opinions.

4 Comments

  1. welshwarriorone's avatar welshwarriorone says:

    It’s yet another bat le that you have to deal with. We know and You know you are a brilliant mum but you have jump through all the hoops and tick all of the boxes. It makes it so much harder then the professionals we all have to deal with don’t see to show any empathy to us or understanding of the offence and how our partners got there. You will get through this, just like you got over all the other hurdles that you got over to get this far. X

    Liked by 1 person

  2. VW's avatar VW says:

    The aftermath from the knock is just as, if not more traumatising than the knock itself. You are a resilient strong woman and can get through this next chapter of the knock. Take each step as it comes, co-operate, keep getting that support and know you aren’t on your own. I pray that you will get a kind and sensible social work team.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Anonywrites's avatar Anonywrites says:

    I am still shocked that social care have no framework for this. With this crime being at astronomical levels, and eye watering costs to social care, you would think they would develop a specific process. The government must be well aware of the costs being incurred. And over and above that the absolute trauma to families, having to endure unpredictable assessments, often multiple times, and the opinion of individual social workers rather than evidence based for the situation! The mind boggles. I understand your anxiety. I will say, if I have got through this, you definitely will. You have a great perspective and resilience and I know you will get to where you want to be. X

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m sorry you are so worried about this but completely understand why. Firstly, you can get advice, good advice, from the family rights group and secondly, if they head for a section 47 (CP) then honestly, get an independent SW. I have done this even though it was a CIN plan, just in case as they can be known to twist the truth. She held no prisoners and it didn’t cost that much. I’m saying this because I don’t want you to feel powerless, you’ve come this far and done an amazing job of bringing your children up and through this x

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